Do-Over

In golf it's called a mulligan. I'm calling a do-over on a pivotal scene in my HOUSE spec.

Yes, I'm still deeply engrossed in the WGA strike to ensure writers continue to get properly compensated for their work in the online media. But, I originally started blogging again to share what I'm learning in my TV writing class. There are better sites out there for strike news:
> United Hollywood
> Deadline Hollywood Daily
> The Artful Writer (Craig Mazin's blog): funny side note--I've never seen any of his movies, but love to read his take on things. Also, he's got a fair amount of dissent, since he allows it.
> or any of my favorites like Jane Espenson or John August.

In class this last week, we read the first 7 pages I'd written of BROTHERS IN ARMS, my HOUSE spec. It was helpful to hear the words out loud. While some folks stumbled over the words because they're sub-optimal (lousy) readers, I was able to hear where my words fell flat overall.

The teacher's critique was really helpful, as he told me to cut to the chase more quickly in some of my scenes. While he felt the scenes were well written and captured the characters well, I was taking too long in my B story, leaving a longish gap between the cold open and picking up the A story again.

I've done some editing this weekend, when I identified a way to move the A story AND B story along well in a couple of new scenes. So I scrapped much of pages 8-14 and rewrote. Added bonus: I'm able to work in more fun with the full cast. Now, though, I've got to get another 6 pages written to stay on path with my weekly goals.

We'll cover those next 8 pages Tuesday night in class.

On another note, Lynn and I saw AMERICAN GANGSTER last night. Zaillian did a great job in making us feel more for the gangster (Denzel Washington in an amazing performance as Frank Lucas) than the cop (Russell Crowe as Richie somebody or other). Interesting that the protagonist/antagonist roles were reversed, though, of course, we're aware of all the misery Frank Lucas caused...